Only Peaceful Days

No more swallowing my anger
To be loved by you
No more biting my tongue 
To be supported by just a few.
I tire of laying down hopelessly
Waiting for the pain to go away
I feel a different kind of pain
Some people would say. 
They say I'm over sensitive
That explains what I feel
They say I'm too serious, 
That I'm spinning the roulette wheel. 
They fail to recognize-The hate they spin
With their cackling laughs
I can hear what they say
Behind my back, the wistful cracks, about my chubbiness, or the brains that I lack.
And they do it to everyone
Not just to me, they're heartless...deceiving, make you trust them, lie to your face, only to enthuse them...,
What made them so mean?
And I try to outrun them
I try to leave
But I have to spend holidays 
they're my family.
And I'm forced to spend it 
If I want to be close to my mother
And I feel so alone, even among all the others.
And I lay in bed at night
Trying to decide what to do-
take all the pills in the bottle
Or something to kill these blues.
And I decide - every time and again
To stop playing the game
That's been so heartbreaking 
And plain maddening.
And I say: I'm over this madhouse
I'm tired of these walls
I'll say goodbye to them
I won't suffocate under the weight of it all. 
I'll get on without all of them
Leave them all behind
The laughter is sweeter when Life without them, 
leads to tastier wine.
And may the grass only become greener 
Under the plot which awaits 
And may I free myself 
And live out only more peaceful days.