Blackbird Poetry

I'm sitting on the outside looking in Wondering where I belong?  On this side of the glass  The day seems so lonely.  People are talking Caught up in the dirt Why do I always feel Caught up in it?  It hurts .....  I try to think of what all of the reasons could be Why there was a missed invitation Was it just because,  of me?  I'm no longer the life of the party I'm not the loudest in the room But I can hear my own voice whisper my name..... and I have that to hold onto.  But I love to love, I live to laugh Sometimes it's all too much to take in And tonight  I'll pick myself up again. I'll promise myself, I'm fine just how I am... I'll thank God for all I am.  And I'll try and see the beauty...  I'll try to find the beauty. By Jeanne Cassidy

This wasn't how the bed  Was supposed to be made You out the door Bills left unpaid It wasn't s'pose to.  Oh It wasn't s'pose to.   At my door you'd knock, I gave you the key You were supposed  to marry me! Oh You were s'pose to, You were s'posed to! I told you there was Baby on the way That was somethin I made up that day! But my lies were all found out My girlfriends are gone How dare they tell you My mind is long gone. Oh just to hold to you Oh just to hold to you This wasn't how the bed Was supposed to be made You out the door, bills left unpaid It wasn't s'pose to.  Oh ..It wasn't s'pose to.   Oh,  but what's a girl to do? Without you?  But what's a girl to do? Without you?

Sometimes you just need your own thing Need your own thing to call your own Sometimes you need to be your own person Need to love yourself,  to feel at home. Life can hand you lemons, It can tire you out,  and blow your mind Sometimes you gotta pick yourself up Since there's no place to hide. Life just keeps on moving Like the highway youre going down See the mountains in the mirror Life's movin on.... It's moving on. Roll the window down As the wind blows through your hair enjoy the ride Lose yourself, lose yourself there.

No more swallowing my anger To be loved by you No more biting my tongue  To be supported by just a few. I tire of laying down hopelessly Waiting for the pain to go away I feel a different kind of pain Some people would say.  They say I'm over sensitive That explains what I feel They say I'm too serious,  That I'm spinning the roulette wheel.  They fail to recognize-The hate they spin With their cackling laughs I can hear what they say Behind my back, the wistful cracks, about my chubbiness, or the brains that I lack. And they do it to everyone Not just to me, they're heartless...deceiving, make you trust them, lie to your face, only to enthuse them..., What made them so mean? And I try to outrun them I try to leave But I have to spend holidays  they're my family. And I'm forced to spend it  If I want to be close to my mother And I feel so alone, even among all the others. And I lay in bed at night Trying to decide what to do- take all the pills in the bottl...

So they always thought me crazy When I was just a kid They always said it couldn't be done No matter what I did.   I packed my bags at eighteen And I thought I'd leave for sure When I turned and walked away never went home no more. And my family stopped coming to see me In the city that I lived  And I struggled on like any college kid Trying to keep shelter o'er my head.... And they never asked for nothing... And ya know, neither did I But when my old man had failing health, I felt like it was time.  Time to make amends Ask what went wrong, wonder aloud Why I never belonged.   And I tried not to judge them,  but to just see The parts where they did right  Raisin our family.  And I'm trying hard to put it behind me I'm trying not to see the fights I'm trying hard to move on Trying to do what's right. And it's painful to look passed What was done in the past. And it's hard to not hold a gr...

Everything looks better- with eyes closed. No makeup to hide behind, No fancy clothes.   The only place to finally be Finally REAL and finally free.   I go here sometimes...  Shut the world out.  Close my eyes.... in my li'l  hideout.  Forget all the troubles And breathe long breaths in... And after a break, things look manageable again.

Happy hours and super powers That's what gets me through Like a drug you're in my veins There's no denying thoughts of you But you're bad for me You make me lose my mind You're toxic For you, I'd leave all of them behind.  Ohhh why? Why when you hurt my heart so bad You've become like crack The best drug I've ever had.... Oh why When you never keep promises And you hurt me  and act so promiscuous...... And what about me Let's you hurt me so? Why do I keep standing there Giving you such control? And baby, I know  I'm a masochist Can't help fallin in love with you  One so heartless.... You say insults and then apologize You're not sorry I can see it in you're eyes.... And when I tell you I'm leaving your world behind You bring flowers  And you work you're way inside And I'm one messed up girl For loving your little act  You say you'r...